An Untearful Reunion
by LobsterSalad
Summary: Right. So the Allies gathered for a reunion. And China drinks a truth serum. Crackcrackcraaack.


"Is he okay?" A worried America looked at the small person next to him. The Allies were having a reunion at a bar and… well, things got out of hand.

What happened:

America was surfing the television channels when he landed on one particular series in which the main characters are going to their high school reunion. _That's cool_, he thought, _I wish I could have a reunion too._ Struck with that idea, he called the old Allies and arranged a date for it.

Of course, it hadn't been easy. France had only agreed when America mentioned that there would be hot girls in the bar they would be going to. England went because of some blackmail pictures that America asked Hong Kong for. China had downright refused because "it was too much trouble" but finally got bribed by a Hello Kitty plush toy. Russia agreed immediately, he wanted to make friends.

So then the 5 of them (Canada was forgotten) were sitting at the bar, awkwardly at first.

"What do we talk about at reunions?" asked a dubious England.

"About _love_ of course! And who here wants some extra loving tonight? How about-"

"Stop that you pervert! Disgusting French-"

"Non! The only disgusting person here is the one eating horrible scones." England had brought his own scones to share with everyone. No one touched them except himself.

"Shut Up! My scones are deli-deli-DELICIOUS!"

"Now now, how about you all stop fighting and eat some snacks aru? Food always-"

"I don't think it will stop them," said the Russian.

"Food solves everything, aru."

"Does not."

"Does too."

"Does not."

"Does too."

"OKAY EVERYBODY QUIET DOWN AND LISTEN TO THE HERO!"

Surprisingly they did.

"AS A CELEBRATION OF THE REUNION OF THE ALLIES, I TOAST TO YOU GUYS, MY GOOD BACK UP IN THE WAR-"

"AAAAGH! THE ALLIES ARE HERE! GERMANY SAVE MEEE!" Italy screamed and cowered behind Germany. The old Axis were sitting to the left of the old Allies. Italy, due to hearing the dreaded words "allies" and "war" in one sentence, forgot for a moment that the war was over. Germany smacked him on his head.

"Italy, the war is over." said Japan.

"Oh, that's right. Ve~, silly me." And they returned to their conversation before.

"ANYWAY I TOAST YOU PEOPLE FOR BEING MY GOOD BACKUP IN THE WAR…" And he went on and on.

"He's so annoying, where did I go wrong with him?" England shook his head dejectedly.

"Ah well, let bygones be bygones right?" Russia said. "Let's just drink away our worries for today. Then become one with Mother Russia-"

"No." Said all the freaked nations, even America, who stopped his rant.

A few minutes later, America was trying to get China and England to drink, Russia was downing a bottle of vodka, and France was sipping wine and antagonising England.

"What, the little Brit is afraid of a few cups of beer?"

"Yeah, come on, England! You too, China. Drink!"

"No thank you aru. Hey, stop that! Nnn-" he spit out the beer that was forced into his mouth. "Such bad manners aru! England where did you go wrong with him? You're a horrible caretaker."

"Don't remind me. He was so cute back then, always going 'England, England!' Where did I go wroooong?" with that wail, England flopped his head and arms on the table and sobbed.

"He's drunk already aru?" America had finally convinced England to drink a specially ordered ale of the day. Guaranteed to make you drunk in three sips.

"Here, China! Have some ale of the day!"

"No thank you aru! How many times do I have to say it, aru!"

"Come on, just a few sips!"

"Oh okay, whatever, aru." China took a large gulp of the drink. "Tastes kind of nice, aru." He took another large gulp. "Feels kind of weird…" And then he promptly fainted dead away, drunk.

Which brings us back to-

"Is he okay?" A worried America looked at the unconscious China next to him sprawled on the table.

"He's so cute. Now it's up to me, France, to kiss this sleeping beauty awake." France leaned towards the Chinese and was about to peck his lips when suddenly China sat sup and smacked him with his wok (pulled out of nowhere).

He sat in his chair with a blank expression.

"Oh, China! Glad you're okay, thanks to the HERO!"

"What? It was my luscious kiss that woke him!"

"I remember you being smacked by the wok before you even touched his lips." Russia smirked.

"And then he- and then he REBELLED. Waaagh! Children are too ungrateful, even after all the things I did for him!"wailed England, still drunk.

Suddenly the bar keeper rushed to their table. "Can I have the ale of the day back? We, er, mixed it up with somethings else. But it's okay as long as you don't drink too much! You'll just get drunk in three sips."

"China had too much, didn't he?" Russia looked at the blank expression on China. "What will happen?" He smiled at the barkeeper, making a mental note to introduce this person to a metal pipe if anything bad is happening to China.

Seeing the expression on Russia's face, the barkeeper immediately rushed away, but was detained by the Russian. "Just-just that he won't be able to tell a lie. And will answer any personal questions."

"What. The. Hell." Everyone (minus drunk England) looked at China, who was just sitting with a freaked expression and said, "Damn."

Taking the chance, the barkeeper ran away after scooping up the mug of ale.

"This is the best thing that happened this evening!" yelled America happily.

"Right! Now I can ask him if he wants to become one with Mother Russia!"

"Let's all record this down and ask him all kinds of questions. And he can't lie!" France was worming his way to China, who sat between America and England.

"Okay okay okay! Is the recording rolling?"

"Yes yes yes, America. Now." France rubbed his hands together and leaned towards China, flipping his long blond hair. "China, what do you feel about moi, France?"

"France is disgusting, aru. He's a real pervert and I would never let Taiwan near him, aru." America and Russia laughed their head off as France sat with a surprised and freaked out face.

France screamed a "Nooooon! How did little China become so RUDE?" and sat banging his head on the table and crying, like England next to him. China smacked him on the head with his wok again. "I'm thousands of years older than you! Don't call me little, aru!"

"HAHAHAHA! You loser! Now watch as he spills out his admiration for the HERO!" America turns to China. "What do you think about the HERO, AMERICA?"

"He's so annoying, aru. It's so annoying that he only eats junk food and is still so fit, aru. I hate how he's always claiming to be the hero, aru. It's annoying the way he says 'I choose you, China!' in WWII. His whole entire being is annoying, aru." America looked as if China was teasing him and laughed. "AHAHAHA! Come on, China, you can tell me the truth. The way you look at me is very admiring, right?"

Russia looked at them and laughed to himself. He knew that China hated the western nations and thought they were always bothering him. Only he, Russia, will China say something nice about.

"What about Russia? What do you think about Russia?" He asked with a childish grin on his face.

"Russia is scary, aru. Sometimes he looks cute, like Panda. But I don't know what's going on in his head, aru. I wish he would stop asking everyone to become one with him, aru. It's creepy, aru."

Russia started to kolkolkolkol and America smacked him on the back. "Got you there, didn't he?" The aura around Russia turned darker, but America didn't sense it.

"It's okay, China. You can learn to like me when we become one, right?" He smiled at the shaking nation, scared even with the truth serum.

"N-no aru, I will never b-become one with y-you, aru. B-bad for m-my h-heart, aru. You're so c-creepy, aru." He looked like he wanted to smack himself for saying those words, but it was his true feelings.

France was still banging his head on the table.

Russia was emitting a terrifying aura as he 'kolkolkol'ed and turned scarier. Germany, Japan, and Italy was looking at the Allies table with consternation. At least, Germany and Japan was looking with consternation. Italy was waving a white flag and whimpering, "Don't hurt me."

China turned towards England as a way to avoid facing Russia."O-opium bastard whose f-food tastes like crap, ahen."

England's face turned red as he yelled , "My food does NOT taste like crap!"

"Does too, ahen."

"Does not."

"Does too, ahen."

"Does not."

"Does too. You're tasteless, ahen."

"I-I'm NOT tasteless."

"You are!" said America suddenly, not wanting to be ignored. "You're always offering me scones that taste like crap and then eating them as if they're delicious." When America said that, England broke into a new round of tears.

"You always say that they were delicious back then-"

"That was around 200 years ago! I grew taste buds during those 200 years!"

"No you didn't, aru. Or else you wouldn't be eating hamburgers all day like they're the tastiest thing ever, aru!"

"You got something against hamburgers, China?"

"Yeah. Aru."

"You don't wanna diss the burgers."

"And the way he screws up my language! WAAAAGH! You used 'wanna'! You don't use 'wanna', you use 'want to,' you git!" And England continued to cry.

"Hamburgers are just junk food, aru."

"It's NOT! And anyway your food is even worse than England's!" America doesn't think so, of course, but that is the most offensive insult one could make about food, so he said that without further thought. He stepped on a land mine.

"WHAT ARU! YOU SAID MY FOOD IS WORSE THAN THE OPIUM BASTARD'S? YOU DON'T WANNA DISS MY FOOD ARU!"

He took out his wok and ladle and swung them at America. America dodged them and landed a kick on China's stomach. The 4000 year old nation didn't take it well and smashed the wok on America's head while slamming the ladle into America's gut. They were in an all out brawl.

Near by, Italy looked at the fight and asked Germany if they should break it up. Germany said let it be and motioned for the bill. "We're getting out of here." Japan, however, told them to go out by themselves, and that he will wait here to take care of his brother after the fight and try to calm them down.

"Good luck ve~"

"Thank you. I'll need it."

"Well, see you later."

"Yes. Goodbye." Italy and Germany left while Japan tried to calm down the fight.

"China, it would not do good to fight with America san right now. We are in a public place. It's indecent."

Hearing the word 'indecent', China answered, "America just dissed my food aru! He just said that all Asian food is worse than England's aru!" he swung the wok and dodged a punch.

Japan's eye twitched.

"Don't listen to him, Japan!" cried America and he tried a roundhouse kick.

"Did you forget that I can't lie, America aru? You even thought that mochi was Chinese and said that that stuff was icky." They continued the brawl.

Japan drew his katana and charged at America. So much for trying to calm down the fight.

At this moment, France and Russia, who had just been watching the whole thing, decided that it was getting out of hand and tried to stop it. At least, France tried. Russia enjoyed watching America getting ganged up by the Asian nations.

"You all just need some more _amour_, then you won't fight. So, China, now what do you think of me?" Actually, France was just wanting to hear flattering words from China.

"Pervert-Oof-" gets punched, "disgusting-" throws wok in the air and punches back, "annoying." Catches his wok and slammed it in America's face. France went back to banging his head on the table.

England, who lifted his head up from crying at this point, seeing his little America getting ganged upon, jumps in the fight and stops Japan's katana from slicing America into bacon strips. He managed to disarm Japan and stop a kick in America's face from China. As a result, England took the kick and was K.O. ed.

Japan's katana was on the floor, but he was too mad to scoop it up, proceeding to use his sheath to bash America with.

America was shouting, "Two on one is UNFAIR! And you guys have weapons! Japan I'm sorry about the mochi thing!" As he blocked a blow from a ladle and gets bashed by a katana sheath on the head. Finally, _finally_ the three of them calmed down and faced a standoff.

"Take back what you said about my food aru!"

"Only if you take back what you said about the hamburgers!"

"America! Mochi is not Chinese and it's not icky. I'm disappointed in you!"

"Aw, Japan! I'm sorry about that, but I honestly didn't know."

"Shows how much you know about Japan, aru. I can't take back what I said about the hamburgers because I can only speak the truth and it's the truth that hamburgers are junk, aru."

Japan, reading the tense atmosphere between them, decided not to interfere again and picked up his katana. He sat back in his seat and asked the waitress for a first aid kit.

China and America turned towards each other. China tensed up and said, "Well, hamburgers sure taste nice."

America suddenly broke in a grin and dropped his stance. "Yeah, and sorry for comparing your food to England's."

"That was humiliating, aru."

"Yeah, I guess. But now you know the value of hamburgers!"

China mentally slapped himself, but he can't control what came out of his mouth, "They're junk."

And the brawl ensued.


End file.
